Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
