Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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