Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
