I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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