If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
