And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
