he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
