I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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