This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
