It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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