everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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