wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
