Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
