make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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