i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
