i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
