the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize