Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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