Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
