My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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