Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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