I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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