Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
