Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
