For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
