We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
