She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
