oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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