I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
A bitchslap is in order.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
