I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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