Whod you bang
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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