Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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