I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just found puke in my bra..
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
