They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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