I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Alive.
So much puke
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
