I want to make a zoo with you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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