fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
