He asked to "fluff my boner.."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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