Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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