Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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