I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
