It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
