yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
