I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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