Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
