The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i think my cat just said my name.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
