i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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