addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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