You can't special order awesome
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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