he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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