At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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