her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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