Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
