To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
