I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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