For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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