whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
