No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
we should paint friendship bongs
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
