Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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