I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
