I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
