3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
