i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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