Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
