At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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