I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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