I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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